Sometimes life doesn’t go as you planned.
Maybe your car broke down when you were on the way to a life changing job interview. Maybe your partner cheated on you, or your power went out, so your alarm didn’t go off this morning…. Yadee yadee yada.
What is your attitude in that situation?
Do you stomp your feet and curse at the skies saying, “WHY ME?!”
Most people have déjà vu of these words ringing in their brains. However, the factor that thrones a victim is the frequency in which this question is asked.
Certain things are out of your control. How you handle the situation from there is entirely a choice.
Blaming others is a choice. Complaining is a choice. Worry and stress stem from thoughts that you can control.
A victim is the person that blames others or circumstances for the adversities in their life.
In a criminal act, the person that is subject to the crime is deemed the victim. The word itself suggests not only innocence but helplessness.
If you blame others for the difficult conditions in your life, you are deeming yourself free of fault. But let’s asses this mindset.
If a person believes in free will, then they believe that the choices they make will determine the course of their life. That said, you are the one creating your challenges.
As a freshman in college I thought I had it all figured out. In golf, I resisted my coaching, I ignored the obvious holes in my game, and I was constantly disappointed with my performance because my expectations were unrealistic. The truth was that I hadn’t trained hard the previous summer and I had lost some of the skill set that I worked so hard previously to acquire. Tears were shed, my ego fell harder than the London Bridge, and some tough conversations needed to be had. But eventually, I recognized that I wasn’t where I thought I was. And the only way to get where I wanted to go was take responsibility for the circumstance I was in.
If a person refuses take accountability for their circumstance, then they are helpless in the efforts of making improvements to it! Jump off your high horse, and step far enough back to get a look at your ego in its enormity. You will likely see that is like the giant chocolate Easter bunnies. Most of it is surface, much of it is hollow, and it will melt to nothing in the light of day. If you want to build substance, own your shit. Some things are your fault. Acknowledge it and then move forward.
The best team leaders never blame a teammate for a bad play. A general would never blame their soldiers for a lost battle. If you want to stop attracting problems, start owning your current challenges. Because at the end of the day, you aren’t as special as you think you are. Things don’t happen “to you,” they just happen. They happen to winners too. Winners just don’t waste time complaining about it.
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