Hi friends. It’s been a while since I wrote to you last.
How are you? Been better? Me too.
Let me advise you to take a walk the next day you have some nice weather. Don’t do it for exercise. Do it to process your thoughts.
I went for a stroll this afternoon and I realized something. I’m avoiding a lot of things right now. Unhappy is the wrong term but unfulfilled fits well. I realized that I’m not eating that great, I’m not exercising like I normally would, and I’ve been isolating myself from people I love (always a bad sign).
Shortly after I acknowledged these decisions I began to feel guilty. Guilty for not appreciating my circumstances and relationships. And then I thought, “What’s wrong with you. Pull yourself together. You can handle this!” Guilt is the worst emotion because it doesn’t actually motivate anyone. If anything it will compound negative thoughts.
But of course I’m feeling out of sorts. And I bet I’m not alone. Our world had been shifted in a few short months. Not to mention there is plenty of baggage I hadn’t worked through before all of this started. Living with unknowns is never a cake walk.
We’re told to be present, but it’s harder said than done at times. I’ve been just avoiding my problems and acting like that’s what living in the present means. But it’s not. It’s addressing the scary things and accepting what can be done and what we must lay to rest until things shift to create new resolution. But if there’s anything I realized today, it’s that something can always be done. Take that as you will. But I for one have had enough “self care” for a few weeks.
I hate to say it but Grandpa was right. Sometimes you need a good ol' fashioned, "pull yourself up by the boot straps."
Time to get back at it.
~Soph xo
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